Me Me Me

I've been unable to even comprehend blogging in the last many weeks. Things are flying by and it's hard not to get swept up, up and away. I suppose working in news media means that when it's a busy news time, not a lot else matters. You've got to be across everything.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what your early 20s is meant to be about. My housemate and I were just discussing in our dainty kitchen about the importance of defining yourself as SOMETHING. You know it's not just Tess- Happy Person, it's gotta be Tess- Producer, Tess- Host, Tess- SOMETHING. You need to have things in your life that you aspire to and that are just yours. They're not your friends aspirations, they're not your boyfriends passions, they aren't your families labels. They are just yours. What you want to think of yourself as.

In your first years in the workplace, you're just soaking everything in. You're trying to work out when's an appropriate time to think about what YOU want and what you need to get out of a place and of the people around you. But you work so hard with so much energy and positivity it's becoming difficult to find time to sit back and think about those things. Times when you're not on the go, times when you aren't on your way to something, somewhere. Tonight after one hell of a day, a loss in our work netball and a week of illness when my car decided not to work and I had to walk home in the dark with arms full of things and a mind full of chattering thoughts was one of those times.

Your early 20s must flash by I'm sure as the weeks go so quickly and before you know it you're overwhelmed and blogging about... well you're not even sure what the point of the typing is. But sometimes you find those small moments to just think ME.ME.ME What do I want, what do I think and where do I want to be and these are some of the most refreshing moments you can have.

I will return now to my bed to read and listen to PUTA MADRE BROTHERS who make me feel free, happy and reckless... before I wake up and do it all again, tomorrow.

King Of Limbs.

I've drank red wine, then tea, then had a break, then come back and listened over and over to the 8 new songs that today arrived in my inbox courtesy of Radiohead. Radiohead fall into a category of bands that seemed to have formed somewhat of a soundtrack to my adolescent, teen and growing up years with so many of their songs and albums being overwhelmingly meaningful to me. This makes it hard to critique their new offerings without sounding bias... luckily for me it's really, really good. A challenge on first listen, new experiences, some styles which I feel are being overdone by other acts but all in all-- 

** It's short (8 tracks in just under 38 minutes)
** It came as a surprise (being announced and released within days)
** Thom Yorke dances (see below videos)
** Each song is an experience and a creation in itself, there's nothing on here just for the sake of it.

TRACKS:

1. Bloom–  It’s what I would have liked to have heard as the soundtrack to the Secret Garden… there are mysteries in the piano, Yorke wails out of time with the just-plain-cool snare drums and it explodes into a majestical soundscape. Really interesting stuff and an appropriate start to the mish-mash of audio to come in the next seven songs

2. Codex – Is a sad, thought-provoking song in the same vein of There There or Videotape… it’s a gentle piano ballad and what I always love- a well placed Orchestral arrangement. “Just Dragonflies/Fantasize/No one gets hurt/We’ve Done Nothing Wrong"

3. Feral – A mash up, sampling, experimental soundscape which has been attempted by a million artists recently, in my opinion best done by Fourtet or Pogo. And while it might be the fan in me, listening to a free, slice and dice experiment song by Radiohead is something else. It’s captivating, catchy and abstract in the right amount without losing sense of structure.

4. Give Up The Ghost It’s a soundtrack of nature with simple, innocent lyrics “Don’t Worry/Don’t Hurt Me/While it seems impossible/In your arms” and balanced with acoustic strumming, echoes and loitering vocals. It’s very easy listening.

5. Little By Little– Commanding bass lines, eastern/exotic guitar, rhythm you won’t come across in most commercial music and sexy vocals from Yorke. This is a magical, and sensual track

6. Lotus Flower -- Like so many others, heard for the first time on the video accompanied by Mr Yorke gyrating on my lap top in black and white… once I’ve listened through without the distraction it’s clear to see why this is “the single”. Obvious reasons, it’s catchy, groovy and a throwback to all things this band do right. Haunting vocals, the electric hum of the guitar and steady interesting beats and just a pinch of synth.

7. Morning Mr Magpie –  A song not made for easy listening, it puts you on edge and the lyrics do nothing to ease your mind “You got some nerve/coming here/You stole it all/Give it back ” Pacy, hyperactive, funky and moody, a nice change in tempo for the penultimate track

8. Separator – The grand finale and reminds me greatly of the joy I felt when I heard songs like “Nude” on In Rainbows. Beautiful guitar that brings a sensation to you, vocals which are glorious and inticing and a solid funk beat on the drums to back it all up  

It’s an eight song sample of what the band can do and in such a short time there is a lot to take in. It needs to be replayed, listened to thoroughly and just enjoyed for what the eight pieces are-- new Radiohead gems to be appreciated. It's a band that needs no review, they'll keep creating sounds and we'll keep listening to them and it's honestly very much worth it the download. 

 On a few awesome related side notes....

T x

Holiday end blues

It's beginning to look a lot like my last day of holidays.

It's windy, it's a little grey, i slept in real late, there's been a shooting in the USA which is sparking my opinionator self, I'm finding absolute gems of new music which excite me for the new year ahead it's looking to be a goodie, i've had nutella, i'm still in my pyjamas, my bike is beckoning me to give it a go around the river and we've got a fun night ahead for the family. So what should I be doing?

I think I'm happy doing just this. Perhaps I'll take my bike out for a spin, come home play some games and just relax. I've not had holidays without work since school so I've done so many activities!

Falls Festival. Headed down to Tassie to Marion Bay, two hours out of Hobart for some Falls fun. It was incredible. Such a beautiful place, a short walk to the beach for a swim (substitute shower) each day, groceries galore, harikrishna incense at our campsite (just one tent but the journalist in me wants to sensationalise it). From memory top acts were Paul Kelly, Puda Madre Brothers in the cushion throwing, cigarette & tequila feeding experience of friday night, Interpol for obvious reasons, Big Scary, Cloud Control, Middle East. So many, the Village on Friday Night the havoc of outrageously gay boy versus a homophobic bogan jock, funniest thing I think I've ever seen. Love tent, perfect weather, wined up, glow axe and searching for a puffa vest. It was a good trip.

Hobart was fine, it was a lovely town, very unique to call it a "city" but it's the capital so I suppose that's it. Working up a complaints letter to the Grand Mecure! I can't wait to get my nuisance on with them. Museum-ed, taste festival, trekking 5+km to get to adventure golf and ice cream, movie marathon of rainman, national lampoons, home alone. It was a perfect trip I say now.

Since I've been home I've done much bike riding on my new wheels....

 I've done much sleeping, catching up on old episodes of Dawsons Creek, catching up with friends, wining and dining, seeing the Armstrongs, spending time in the old home town and shopping. It's been a relatively perfect holiday.

Time in the old home town I have come to realise how lucky I am to start this year off in the city, in a house, in a job, with new friends, with a beautiful boyfriend, with a great family andnot feeling lost, not feeling panicked, not feeling nostalgic but powering ahead.

Haven't felt this excited about a new year like this in many! So set.

To help me out, a word from former teen-star non-dreamboat James Van Der Beek

Vandermemes from James Van Der Beek

For now,

T

Making Scents Of It All

Sitting on the couch. A swollen face. A bag of peas that I would never eat but acting as my frozen saviour. Counting down until my next medication time. High Fidelty. Baby food. Water. Feeling sorry for myself. But enjoying the forced relax time.

I walked into a shop the other day in Bridge Road. I was swept away by the smell. It was the air freshener. A vanilla one, nothing spectacular. Yet exactly the same as Bonanza Jellybean, the clothing store I worked at 18 years of age.

That smell bought back a rush of thoughts and emotions. I was working for the local LOCAL magazine, had just finished school, had a completely different group of friends, was in a long unusual relationship, my sister was away, I was yet to go overseas, I didn't know where I wanted to end up and I hadn't figured out or become comfortable with the sort of person I was yet. I spent hours with that smell every time I worked, listening to the same cds that were there and ones I had mixed with Kings of Leon, She will Have her way a female compilation of Crowded House Covers, Hot Chip's first album and a Chill out album. I got my coffee from Illy next door, I was next to a lingere store, I parked at Deakin and always stopped at Back to Basics to pick up candles, bracelets and lovely bits. I was visited by my boyf and friends, by Chloe in the early days, by 100% fresh and by Ez who I now live with. I was so different. It was so refreshing to have that smell & move on. It was a moment where I was so proud of myself and how many things have changed and where I'm not at. I'm still at the beginning of my career but so much further than then. I've travelled with plenty more to do, I'm no longer fussed  on a group I have many very special individuals in my life, my family is back together and closer than ever and I'm with an equal who I adore and I live in a city full of secrets and surprises.

A scent or smell can bring back such powerful memories. The comforting smell of my home, my dad's aftershave, my teddy, spice cottage, my friends' perfumes, sam's smell, walking past a man yesterday wearing aqua di gio and thinking of my friend i've grown apart from, it's wonderful. When I get old and my sight goes dodgy, my tastebuds become not so wonderful or my hearing goes a bit so I couldn't hear gigs and my favourite songs as well, I just hope hope hope I can smell, enjoy and make scents of it all. Mind the pun.

Back to icing my face now.

T x

Only if.

On one of our shows the other day we talked to Performance Psychologist Phil Jauncy. While he was talkign about the mind games of elite athletes, I took so much from his chat. He had the kind of attitude I really find refreshing.

The best part of the conversation was his take on the differences between dreamers and succeeders. It's very easy for dreamers to say "If only." If only I can find out what it is I want to do, If only I can save the money and move out of town or out of home, if only I can find the time. Successful people and people who actively seek happiness and success do so because they've already said ONLY IF. Only If I seek things that make me happy and fulfilled and do them, only if I make changes in my life to shake it up will I see results, only if I take a chance even if you could crash and burn will you see the benefits.

I know many many if onlys. Dreamers who just talk and talk and write and write about wanting to do stuff. It'll be incredible when they realise they just need to stop talking, writing and dreaming and just actively change their lifestyles, break away from the group, break away from the mould. I'm yet to meet half as many only ifs, but I can't wait to and find their advice and hear their stories.

Here's some more golden bits from Phil Jauncy's website:

"The Power of Positive Doing"

He doesn't believe in words like motivation, positive thinking and a good attitude.

"We cannot control our thoughts and feelings but we can control our actions. If we are feeling angry we start to act positively and eventually we find that the positive actions lead to positive feelings and thinking."

"Keep in mind that we cannot change the past or the present, but we can take control of the future."

The Six Steps of his for success and for successful change.

• What am I doing now?
• Is it working?
• If not, Change!
• Be specific (positively).
• Make a plan.
• Act on it.

I like this man. I like his plan. I feel positive even reading it, but I acted by reading it therefore my actions have influenced my positive feelings... just like it reads. Crazy.

Meeting Paul Kelly on Friday one of my absolute idols. His songs have meant more to me in the last seven months than I can explain. Tales of loneliness, of moving to the city, about Melbourne, about friends and losses of relationships, of attachments to new ones. They've filled me with so much comfort and company and a feeling that someone's felt this way before so it's all just going to be okay.

Out on that note for now and with thoughts of the lad many millions of miles away who I'm thinking of.


Tall trees are trembling
Dark clouds are bearing down
God's tiny creatures are all
Going crazy on the ground
My way is, my way is to you
Your gates were guarded
I had to swing around
Althe dogs are silent now
I can hear the softest sounds
My way is, my way is to you
Many times I've stumbled
Many times I've fallen down
But always I had
The dream of your dear ground
My way is, my way is to you