a day in the life of...

a day in the life of a mute.

This will be a long post, as when I go to talk, nothing comes out. Therefore I am trying to express my thoughts via this blog...

Currently Listening to: Skeleton Tiger- Tame Impala (Now it's The Man Who Sold the World)
Currently Looking at: Home remedies for laryngitis
Currently Contemplating: Lunch, shower options, to tread or not to tread, what movie to watch, who to see before I go overseas and who not to bother with, a surprise for our favourite blond best friend, how to put into words (very minimal words) how I am feeling.
Currently Thankful For: my family, friends, this blog to be able to communicate.
This is absolutely bizarre. For the past 24 hours I have been completely ailed with laryngitis and unable to say ANYTHING. To make matters worse I had a 21st to go, where I had to force random words out every now and then to make a point or answer questions about Europe.

Bless the Internet: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081029171322AA5TNOm

Unfortunately most of the remedies come with a "don't speak" on the end. I think it was from a TV show or something where somebody lost their voice, and actually realises how much information comes your way if you can only listen. I listen to people all the time when they're speaking to me, but generally I get so swept up in the conversation that I'm having that my peripheral hearing is nowhere to be found. Last night I found out so many peoples perspectives and opinions, it was very interesting. One of my favourites was listening to conversations of the girls in the toilets (always catty gold!) and wonder who they're talking about, and whether that person has ANY idea in the world that these things are being said. Would they have realised that this is how people felt about them if they had of listened in the first place??

It reminded me of Harriet the Spy, SUCH a good read. In 24 hours I don't have the power over others she had, nor would I want it. Because also having no method of communication is the most isolating and embarrassing thing in the world, not being able to express your opinions or thoughts or laugh or answer questions. You feel rude, lonely, odd, stand offish and full of thoughts all in one go. It's actually a great practise for me to have to think about what I will say before I say, no more Verbal Vomit for Tess! I think I'm going to attempt to learn sign language, not in a joke way, only because I think it would be a great thing to know how to do.

I've been blessed (or cursed... however you look at it) with the gift of the gab. I keep a lot of thoughts to myself, and my mind never stops, which is probably why I can't sleep ever because I never stop thinking about things. But if I wasn't given the personality that I have where I really do think it's important to express yourself verbally, I would go insane like I am today. You just feel down, you know, when you can't talk about things. Whenever you start up a relationship or a friendship, it's at that point where you can properly talk about stuff, and open up to each other that you know that is a person/connection to work at and pursue. I always think it's really special if somebody I know doesn't open up or talk that much chooses to do so to me, that they've thought of you as a person that they feel comfortable enough to talk to. It's cool.

I am in the process of making playlists for the Rory& Tess radio show, it is so much fun, and this show will go places I tell's ya.

Chloe, Angel & I will head off to Europe in EIGHT DAYS. Oh my. It was nice to be with family friends and people who've known me since I was little last night, as they were so outspoken about how proud they were of me for actually doing this. Another mini rant in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.....

This week I've been thinking about how many people I know that will never do this. There are 100 year old people who've NEVER seen the world. I'm proud of the three of for saying we would do it, and actually doing it. They'll talk about doing it, and say that it's cool that we're doing it and that they'll definitely go soon, but won't. For those who just don't get the chance, or don't really want to, then that's just understandable I suppose. But so many people our age spend their money on things like the coolest jeans, shoes and hairstyles, and never use their money to actually experience things that will help them develop as people. Too many people spend TOO much of their time worrying what other people will think of them. They need people to help them to feel better about themselves, and to have gratification from the company of others that they're a good person. So desperate to fit in to a certain mould or certain friendship groups that they will never take the time to be independent and go out and do stupid, funny acts with their best friends and not have a care in the world about not being cool or a total robo-baaabe. It's no good really. However, it does make me realise why the handful of best friends that I have, are indeed my best friends. They're like me, but in the best way because they're not like me at all. They're so individual with different experiences and things that make up who they are, and we all come together and never judge each other, just give advice and hope for the best.

This was Angel's about me for a little while, I saved it to my computer and it makes my day!

If you like singing and dancing loudly along the aisles of the supermarket, making up nicknames, enjoy sandwiches, want to sponser [or even just support] my team for soccer; the sharpies, bop when you walk, cry when you laugh (or spit) and laugh a lot, like drinking wine and eating cookies, enjoy gang sleepovers, dress-ups, speaking with accents, dancing, bended elbow, if you wanna be my lover and will also get with my friends haaa, if you have a ringtone that makes it sound like dracula is heading your way, the zoo, bubba euro trips, driving along and not caring that people are watching you singing, also have two gf's, hear a song that you love and end conversation until the song..and the spontaneous dancing have ceased (or will dance around lights or other inanimate objects), if you have rather large hands, sleep with a teddy as cute as cuddles or whitey or flo-rider, have crushes, have slight insomnia, find personal meanings in every song you listen to..even gay bar, can and will talk to anybody, are a little creepy, have a sexy car or have been in mine! [the boot in the carpark at readings means bonus points], if people think your odd but actually want to join in the gang, drink coffee or wine or the love of my life tea, if you basically live at uni, wear 'devilicious' underwear, and use phrases like "your a hazard" and "story of my life" and the clincher "i walk on the wild side of life" [the last of which ive never used as a pickup line! the other two, however..] i think we could definately be friends!

So if you're out there and think you could be one of us, we will welcome you with open arms people! I love the armstrongs. I need to do something productive, like shower or watch scrubs, or make playlists.

These are two rhymes made for me by my best friends, when I'm down they get me on the mends, if you would like friends like this too, all you have to do... is be YOU!

i have a friend and she loves to go, get down and dirty with the flo, everyone thinks shes got a good voice for radio, shes friendly and fun to boot, hanging with her is such a hoot, we make love and dance, and she always gets in the pants ;), shes devilicious and cool, and she listens to music thats so old-school, i want her now and i want her forever, and she so knows she can have me whenever! there, that should make you see stars ted!

Tess, You make me happy when I am feeling blue, I really don't know what I'd do without you. You know its true, we stick together like glue, you know I'm afraid of the who. You're more than willing to share your bed and "oh my god get out of my head!" You have a smile that brightens up my day, by the way did I mention do like Shea. We have so much fun, we're nowhere near almost done. Soon you will be my room mate, I'll put the dinner on your plate, we'll stay up and chat til really late. I'll bring you flowers and make you coffee, not mention some sticky toffee. You amaze me with your beauty, you must know you're surely a cutie. I am so glad to be your friend, we'll be together until the end!

Stay cool & happy friends, bye for now :)